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Category: Depression

Depression/healing/Life

Let there be dark

March 15, 2019March 15, 2019 Aly 1 Comment

When I was in my early 20’s, I went through a season of very severe depression. At age 22, I…

Read More Let there be dark

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New post 🙌 : Slay girl, slay . . “This is where I am. A no man’s land of dead dreams. The skeletons of other failed attempts all around me. . This is that uncomfortable part in the hero’s journey where you have to take stock of the odds. The forest is so thick you can’t really see the path in front of you. And hell, I don’t even know how I got on this path to begin with. I want to run back. I’m ill-equipped. And I’m trying to slay the monstrous villain with a faulty pen and a blunt sword. . In a word, I suck. I suck hard. . . But ... What else can I do? . This was the question that stopped the beast from winning today. And the answer is nothing. . I know in my soul I’m supposed to pursue writing if only for the reason that it is a dream I haven’t dared explore out of fear of failure. And if I know one thing about myself at all, it’s that I’d rather die knowing I pursued what my heart truly yearned for even if I failed at that pursuit, then die having never tried. So I can do nothing else but give this a shot. . I have to face the questions, the demons, the doubts until I can go no further. I have to vanquish the beast or die trying. . I am no hero. No warrior. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next, I’m old and rusty and quite frankly, I’m bad at writing. I’m too damn wordy and I lose the fucking plot all the time. . But this is it. This is the part where it’s dark and uncomfortable and unclear. . Do I move forward knowing that what lies in front of me will be a painful, insane, overwhelming battle at the end of which I might have nothing to show for it but words and wounds? . Or do I look behind me at my known world and retreat to the safety of a pretty decent and enjoyable career that I know I’m good at?” . . #newpost #slay #slaygirlslay #writerscommunity #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity #blogger #dallas #writer #dragon #herosjourney
New Post: Unseen Acts of Love ❤️ . . “So I’m not about, “let’s give, give, give without being seen.” While there may be a time and a place for that, I am of the mind that in a relationship, if your significant other is not actively looking for how you contribute, it can be helpful to firstly express your frustration to this (gently), and then call those items to attention. They might not know just how much toil goes into your participation of the relationship. But they also can’t read your mind, nor automatcally know what you do when they aren’t around. And It’s not fair for us to expect someone else to read our mind or know what they don’t, anyway.” . . . #writerscommunity #writersofinstagram #newpost #writer #cherylstrayed #cherylstrayedquotes #relationshipquotes #relationshipgoals #quotes #quotestoliveby #tuesdaymotivation #wordsofwisdom #wordstoliveby
New Post: Make Yourself Proud 🙌 . . “I’m basically your best friend that you’ll likely never meet. . And even if you do meet me, chances are circumstances, societal expectations, time, space, geography or other factors will come into play and you likely won’t get to know me well enough to know that I’m basically your best friend… I know that sounds super creepy. But to be fair, I think this because your best friend should want nothing but the best for you. Even if it hurts. Especially when it hurts. . I don’t care if you’re black, brown, fuchsia, white, orange, blue or yellow. I don’t care if you’re a lawyer, comedian, living in your parent’s basement, janitor, singer, playwriter or an engineer. I don’t care if you’re jewish, hindu, christian, buddhist, muslim or a lover of satan (well, our values might differ if you’re a lover of satan – but still). It just doesn’t matter to me. . What matters to me is that you’re proud of who you are, or who you’re fighting to become. That means, you’re proud of what you do (mostly), you’re proud of how you earn your livelihood (or proud of the current pursuit you’re in on how you’ll earn said livelihood), and you’re proud of how you treat others (again, mostly). Lastly, you’re willing to learn from the moments or actions when you’ve not made yourself proud. But in order to be truly proud of who you are, it takes a lot of work to get to know you. . Oh, not me. I don’t need to get to know you… you need to get to know you. . Because when you know yourself honestly, you pretty much become incredible in my book (even if that means you still have many, dark days). And I like incredible. And I’ll root for you till my dying day.” . . #newpost #writersofinstagram #makeyourselfproud #writersofinstagram #writer #writerscommunity #blogger
NEW POST: 'Let There Be Dark' 🌚 🌙 . . "I’ve become a firm believer in the power of manifestation and our ability to change our circumstances. I am a generally happy, positive person and I enjoy life thoroughly. I’m braver, more confident and stronger emotionally than ever. And this is the emotional space I typically write from -- the person on the other side of my dark seasons, who truly does believe we can change our lives and wants to compel others to rise up and do the same. . But while I believe this and I am all these things, I am also a person who occasionally has to battle depression and darkness. The key is I no longer see darkness as an enemy. And I no longer believe it’s trying to harm me. . Far from it. . Darkness is a key part of growth. Darkness can be brutal and sometimes seem cruel, but it’s intentions are true. . Darkness … is the good stuff." . . #newpost #writer #quotes #quotestoliveby #quotesdaily #quoteoftheday #brenebrown #braveenough #writerscommunity #writersofinstagram #blogger #bloggerlife #wordstoliveby
NEW POST: My Glorious Failure . Link in bio! . . “Most recently I heard James Altucher’s interview with Steven Pressfield, It’s Not Too Late to Become the Hero of Your Journey (Listen to Your Gut) where he audibly explains “the Muse” and “the hero’s journey.” It was here that I realized, I have been called more than once by this Muse. I thought it was calling me to the art “world.” And while art is very much still an intended pursuit and joy of mine, it wasn’t quite “fitting the bill” so to speak – both with it’s hefty $60k price tag for an MFA degree (tethered to society’s expectation of what a “successful” artist is), but more importantly, I now understand my greatest frustration was (for me) the inability to use one piece of imagery to fully communicate the intricacies of my intended expression for that particular work. It only provided a snapshot (and one that is largely left up to interpretation) of all that I wanted to say, rather than actually just saying what it is that I want to say. So, while I still intend to produce art because I enjoy it, it looks nothing like I originally imagined it would in those early days after the bank. I wanted to pursue art to express. In fact, that failure served such a great purpose – in attempting to satiate the Muse (for once), I know now I what I don’t want. And I didn’t want to express in that way only – which has all led me to writing (so far).” . . #newpost #newpostalert #failure #gloriousfailure #writersofinstagram #writer #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity
New Post on blog: “The Pain and the Prep” . . “I have been counting the costs of my current life. I have been evaluating what is truly important and asking the Universe, or God, or whatever (we’ll just call him/her “Uni” for short), what is it that is most important to me? . As I look back on the life I have built with the earnings I have made, I am realizing – none of this is what is important to me, sadly. I have been toiling under the sun, all for not. I have willingly chained myself to this life and continue to tighten the handcuffs with all the consumption I am doing. I’ve been so paralyzed by the fear of losing the credibility of my MBA, my amazon fresh grocery delivery service, my Moroccanoil curly hair product, my ability to pay for large, unnecessary purchases, and the constant steady supply of alcohol for my guy and I. I look back and I go… really, Ash? Really? . This is what you’re fearful of losing?” . . #newpostalert #newpost #writing #cherylstrayed #cherylstrayedquotes #blog #blogger #writersofinstagram #writing #writingcommunity

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New post 🙌 : Slay girl, slay . . “This is where I am. A no man’s land of dead dreams. The skeletons of other failed attempts all around me. . This is that uncomfortable part in the hero’s journey where you have to take stock of the odds. The forest is so thick you can’t really see the path in front of you. And hell, I don’t even know how I got on this path to begin with. I want to run back. I’m ill-equipped. And I’m trying to slay the monstrous villain with a faulty pen and a blunt sword. . In a word, I suck. I suck hard. . . But ... What else can I do? . This was the question that stopped the beast from winning today. And the answer is nothing. . I know in my soul I’m supposed to pursue writing if only for the reason that it is a dream I haven’t dared explore out of fear of failure. And if I know one thing about myself at all, it’s that I’d rather die knowing I pursued what my heart truly yearned for even if I failed at that pursuit, then die having never tried. So I can do nothing else but give this a shot. . I have to face the questions, the demons, the doubts until I can go no further. I have to vanquish the beast or die trying. . I am no hero. No warrior. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next, I’m old and rusty and quite frankly, I’m bad at writing. I’m too damn wordy and I lose the fucking plot all the time. . But this is it. This is the part where it’s dark and uncomfortable and unclear. . Do I move forward knowing that what lies in front of me will be a painful, insane, overwhelming battle at the end of which I might have nothing to show for it but words and wounds? . Or do I look behind me at my known world and retreat to the safety of a pretty decent and enjoyable career that I know I’m good at?” . . #newpost #slay #slaygirlslay #writerscommunity #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity #blogger #dallas #writer #dragon #herosjourney
New Post: Unseen Acts of Love ❤️ . . “So I’m not about, “let’s give, give, give without being seen.” While there may be a time and a place for that, I am of the mind that in a relationship, if your significant other is not actively looking for how you contribute, it can be helpful to firstly express your frustration to this (gently), and then call those items to attention. They might not know just how much toil goes into your participation of the relationship. But they also can’t read your mind, nor automatcally know what you do when they aren’t around. And It’s not fair for us to expect someone else to read our mind or know what they don’t, anyway.” . . . #writerscommunity #writersofinstagram #newpost #writer #cherylstrayed #cherylstrayedquotes #relationshipquotes #relationshipgoals #quotes #quotestoliveby #tuesdaymotivation #wordsofwisdom #wordstoliveby
New Post: Make Yourself Proud 🙌 . . “I’m basically your best friend that you’ll likely never meet. . And even if you do meet me, chances are circumstances, societal expectations, time, space, geography or other factors will come into play and you likely won’t get to know me well enough to know that I’m basically your best friend… I know that sounds super creepy. But to be fair, I think this because your best friend should want nothing but the best for you. Even if it hurts. Especially when it hurts. . I don’t care if you’re black, brown, fuchsia, white, orange, blue or yellow. I don’t care if you’re a lawyer, comedian, living in your parent’s basement, janitor, singer, playwriter or an engineer. I don’t care if you’re jewish, hindu, christian, buddhist, muslim or a lover of satan (well, our values might differ if you’re a lover of satan – but still). It just doesn’t matter to me. . What matters to me is that you’re proud of who you are, or who you’re fighting to become. That means, you’re proud of what you do (mostly), you’re proud of how you earn your livelihood (or proud of the current pursuit you’re in on how you’ll earn said livelihood), and you’re proud of how you treat others (again, mostly). Lastly, you’re willing to learn from the moments or actions when you’ve not made yourself proud. But in order to be truly proud of who you are, it takes a lot of work to get to know you. . Oh, not me. I don’t need to get to know you… you need to get to know you. . Because when you know yourself honestly, you pretty much become incredible in my book (even if that means you still have many, dark days). And I like incredible. And I’ll root for you till my dying day.” . . #newpost #writersofinstagram #makeyourselfproud #writersofinstagram #writer #writerscommunity #blogger
NEW POST: 'Let There Be Dark' 🌚 🌙 . . "I’ve become a firm believer in the power of manifestation and our ability to change our circumstances. I am a generally happy, positive person and I enjoy life thoroughly. I’m braver, more confident and stronger emotionally than ever. And this is the emotional space I typically write from -- the person on the other side of my dark seasons, who truly does believe we can change our lives and wants to compel others to rise up and do the same. . But while I believe this and I am all these things, I am also a person who occasionally has to battle depression and darkness. The key is I no longer see darkness as an enemy. And I no longer believe it’s trying to harm me. . Far from it. . Darkness is a key part of growth. Darkness can be brutal and sometimes seem cruel, but it’s intentions are true. . Darkness … is the good stuff." . . #newpost #writer #quotes #quotestoliveby #quotesdaily #quoteoftheday #brenebrown #braveenough #writerscommunity #writersofinstagram #blogger #bloggerlife #wordstoliveby
NEW POST: My Glorious Failure . Link in bio! . . “Most recently I heard James Altucher’s interview with Steven Pressfield, It’s Not Too Late to Become the Hero of Your Journey (Listen to Your Gut) where he audibly explains “the Muse” and “the hero’s journey.” It was here that I realized, I have been called more than once by this Muse. I thought it was calling me to the art “world.” And while art is very much still an intended pursuit and joy of mine, it wasn’t quite “fitting the bill” so to speak – both with it’s hefty $60k price tag for an MFA degree (tethered to society’s expectation of what a “successful” artist is), but more importantly, I now understand my greatest frustration was (for me) the inability to use one piece of imagery to fully communicate the intricacies of my intended expression for that particular work. It only provided a snapshot (and one that is largely left up to interpretation) of all that I wanted to say, rather than actually just saying what it is that I want to say. So, while I still intend to produce art because I enjoy it, it looks nothing like I originally imagined it would in those early days after the bank. I wanted to pursue art to express. In fact, that failure served such a great purpose – in attempting to satiate the Muse (for once), I know now I what I don’t want. And I didn’t want to express in that way only – which has all led me to writing (so far).” . . #newpost #newpostalert #failure #gloriousfailure #writersofinstagram #writer #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity
New Post on blog: “The Pain and the Prep” . . “I have been counting the costs of my current life. I have been evaluating what is truly important and asking the Universe, or God, or whatever (we’ll just call him/her “Uni” for short), what is it that is most important to me? . As I look back on the life I have built with the earnings I have made, I am realizing – none of this is what is important to me, sadly. I have been toiling under the sun, all for not. I have willingly chained myself to this life and continue to tighten the handcuffs with all the consumption I am doing. I’ve been so paralyzed by the fear of losing the credibility of my MBA, my amazon fresh grocery delivery service, my Moroccanoil curly hair product, my ability to pay for large, unnecessary purchases, and the constant steady supply of alcohol for my guy and I. I look back and I go… really, Ash? Really? . This is what you’re fearful of losing?” . . #newpostalert #newpost #writing #cherylstrayed #cherylstrayedquotes #blog #blogger #writersofinstagram #writing #writingcommunity

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